…and you think to yourself, where has HE been??? Has He heard me? Every night before bed? Before every meal? Randomly throughout my Monday afternoon because I was about to pull my hair out? Has He heard me ask for strength when I was weak or patience when I seemed to have none left? And what about when my dad became ill with dementia and Alzheimer’s or when I miscarried our daughter Sam at 19 weeks. Where was He then? And if He was there, why did He allow these things to happen?
Trust me when I say, I have had my share of angry moments with God. Where my faith has been tested to my absolute limit and I cry in frustration, “why God WHY? If I am your daughter and you are my Heavenly Father, then why didn’t you protect me from these things? Why did you bless us with a healthy pregnancy to begin with if it was only going to be taken away from us?” These are the questions that I think we all ask ourselves when we are facing a tough season in our lives. We want to know what we are supposed to be learning, how we are supposed to be changing as a result, and how we are supposed to grow after these types of heartbreak. The answer is not that simple…
The truth is, we may never know.
But God does.
He has already carved our path in this life. It will walk you through glorious high peaks and painful low valleys. You will have to maneuver through stumbling blocks along the way…some self-inflicted and others placed there by God Himself to help you grow in some way. There will be times in your life when you feel like you are walking on your path alone…in the dark…without a flashlight…or a map.
There will be other times when you feel like your path is lined with silver and gold, illuminated by the sun and a soft warm breeze is leading you in the right direction.
Still others when you’re standing still. Stuck in one place…waiting for a clear path to reveal itself.
What’s tough to understand is that, in all of these scenarios, He IS there. He has been there the entire time. He didn’t “just show up”…although at times it may feel this way. He was helping you grow in your faith, listening to your prayers and needs all the while. Unfortunately, we don’t always get the answer to the prayers that we are searching for and as a result, we can end up feeling deserted, angry, or disheartened. I know I have. But here’s the thing…
I believe that God understands when we have anger or frustration about occurrences in our lives that we don’t understand. At least I pray that He does as I have most definitely had my share of heated, angry, yelling sessions into the sky! But I truly believe that in time, in HIS time, all things are revealed for His purpose. It certainly doesn’t mean that it doesn’t painfully hurt in the process. It is what we do with this pain that changes the course of our lives and possibly others. He IS listening…the question is, are YOU?
See, every morning we have the choice to make a positive difference in the life of another. We have a choice to make our own lives better even when we are hurting. I’m not saying it’s always the easy choice…in fact, it’s quite difficult. But, bitterness breeds…and it’s ugly and toxic. So instead, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Ask God for strength and guidance. And when your heart is ready, take your first step. He will be there, map or no map, highest of peaks, and lowest of valleys.
Keep praying…keep moving forward. He’s there.
I promise. ♥️